Dear Readers,
In the lead up to any of my book events, I wonder, why am I doing this to myself? Why expose myself to
the stress and anxiety? What's the pay off?
Events typically sell some books but not enough to warrant the time and energy. I do receive an honorarium most of the time, but I'd have to speak every day to make a living that way. Events do grow my tribe--welcome to my new subscribers from my presentation at the Jewish Genealogical Society of Illinois this past Sunday! They are probably
surprised to hear me say I was nervous about that presentation on Filling in the Blanks of my Jewish Family History. Because, of course, it went well.
My anxiety surprised me because I
am pretty used to presenting. But, while this was not a new topic for me, it was a new presentation. I did not know if would flow. I also didn't know which section of the book to read until I was dozing off to sleep the night before. (This is, quite often, when I have great ideas!)
Tangible family history: The fence at my grandparents' former house in
Liberec, Czech Republic
So, given that recent experience, I've been thinking about fear, and when and why I experience that feeling of dread and anxiety. I realized it has to do with anything new--presenting something new, meeting new people, even finding my way around a city I've never been to before. Now, anybody who knows me
might be surprised because I keep a calm exterior most of the time, but nevertheless, there is turmoil inside.
It can be a new presentation, sending out a new version of this newsletter (minor anxiety involved, but still), or it can be my first days of going to Ulpan (Hebrew School) in Jerusalem. Boy was I nervous!
I hated every minute leading up to going to class, and over the course of the first few days, everything stressed me out: logging on to the online learning module, having to converse with the receptionist in Hebrew, or deciphering the menu at the cafe across the street. By the end of my morning lessons, I was wiped! Walking to my Ulpan every morning in Jerusalem last
summer, I loved passing these signs with children's poetry on Emek Refa'im Why do this to myself? Life would be much cozier and easier if I stayed on the couch! And yet, despite these jitters, I continue to do this to myself. The only answer I have is that these must be the birthing pains you have to go through to grow, which is what we human beings are supposed to do, right? Is this what we have to surmount in order to expand our skills, knowledge, influence, circle of
friends? Does anything worth achieving mean powering through that fear, trusting in past experience that you've done something similar before so you'll be able to do this new thing as well? Is this what brings that sense of satisfaction, achievement and self respect in the end? Although I have to say that sense of accomplishment takes much longer for me to settle in--after any such anxiety-inducing endeavor, I am just plain
exhausted. Do tell me, though, if you care to think about it, what induces fear for you? And is it worth powering through? On that note, I have plenty of anxiety-inducing events (for me, not for you, I hope anyway!) coming up next month:
- I'll be teaching a short version of my workshop "Shaping Family History into Compelling Stories" at the Festival of Faith & Writing in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Friday, April 13. 8:00 - 9:45 a.m.
- I will also teach two workshops at GrubStreet in Boston:
I will also present my "Shaping Family History into Compelling Stories" workshop at the Story Circle Network Conference, July 20-22, 2018 in Austin, Texas.
If you're in Chicagoland, do check out my events, I'm adding new ones all the time!
If you're planning your Passover menu, don't forget the Hazelnut Torte recipe from my book. It's super easy to make, looks impressive (if I don't say so myself...) and is kosher for Passover. It works for any other holiday or celebration as well, as
it was my grandmother's co-to birthday cake recipe.
And don't worry if you're not having that many guests for Passover, see my article In Defense of the Small Seder. The main thing is, you have one, or you go to one (you can always bring the cake)!
While it is still rather cold here in Chicago, I know spring is around the corner because Tuesday I was at our country property in Indiana and inspected the spots where I planted daffodil, paper white and hyacinth
bulbs in the fall. Sure enough, they are sprouting! What joy!
On that note I wish you a joyous beginning of spring!
PS: My publisher is running an ebook sale March 16-13, click image below.
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